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| Photo by obyvatel |
Are they gone? You know who... the women-folk. Good. Let's get started with our lesson for men on dating and how to attract women into your life.
Have you ever know a man that was a 'natural' when it came to women? I sure have. I've known more than one. Some were really great guys, and others were just plain asses. They know something that a lot of the shy guys in the world don't know though - and that's a rare skill which most men secretly envy and wished they possessed, but a skill which few men go out of there way to really learn.
If you're a shy guy or even just a guy that has trouble finding a date, and you're sick and tired of watching women end up with other men, then this may be one of the most important things you read today. What you're about to learn is a very simple and effective strategy that will teach you how to find and how to attract women right from the initial approach all the way down to the commitment.
How to Attract Women Tips: Be a Social Butterfly
The first tip for how to attract women is a simple concept. Women typically love a man that is socially savvy. What does it mean to be socially savvy? It means you know how to handle yourself when out in a social setting. It means you know when to speak up, how to talk to almost anyone about almost anything, and it also means that you're not afraid of meeting new people and introducing people to each other. It means you have the social grace to know what to say as well as how and when to say it.
Sadly, must of us in this day and age have poorly developed social skills and this sadly decreases a man's chance of knowing how to attract women. Maybe it was TV. Possibly we spent too much time on the Nintendo (or any game system for that matter). It could be we were just book worms or enjoyed spending all our time in front of a computer. Regardless, the social skills of many SUCK this day and age. We just never learned how to get along socially - how to be a social butterfly.
Yes, I realize butterfly isn't the most manly word in the world, but I hope you're understanding my point here. By this point you are hopefully asking, "Well John, how does one become a social butterfly and so good at the social game?"
Easy. It starts by getting into the habit of greeting everyone you see and meet. EVERYONE. I don't care if they are old or young. If they seem busy or bored. I don't care if they look at you funny or smile your direction. It doesn't matter if they are men or women or elves... err, whatever. Everyone!
You've got to get comfortable with just saying hello before you'll ever learn how to attract women and be capable of advancing to other social skills. Like anything, social skill sets are developed in baby steps and not all in one setting. Sure, not everyone will respond back and some may even say "screw you buddy," but if you start conditioning yourself to take note rejection personally now, then you'll be less afraid to do a lot of things in the future which that fear of rejection may otherwise hold you back.
Once you've gotten good with saying hello, you can now follow that up with "How is your day going?" or "How are you doing." At that point you must learn to practice LISTENING. This is especially true if the person you ask this question to actually opens up in someway.
The point is, if you stay in the shadows you're never going to meet anyone and, further more, the women you ARE around will view you as lacking social skills. Since women love to show their men off to friends, family, work, etc - you've got to be ready to step into that role and not hide behind her!
How to Attract Women Tips: Be Willing to Go on a Date With Anyone At Least Once
The second tip for how to attract women is one that I truly believe everyone - men and women - should learn. One of the biggest mistakes us guys make when it comes to dating and women is that we tend to look for a specific type or girl. Many of us are so vain that we won't even consider dating anyone who "isn't our type." Dating has and never will equal commitment. Dating is about finding out if you are compatible with someone or not. More and more people are getting into the mindset that if I'm dating someone then we must be involved in a serious commitment! Nooooooooooo! That's horribly wrong to think that way. This what I hear most young people 18-21 years of age say to me in our sessions. "Well, I can't go on date with him/her because I like someone else."
Dads, I pray that you help your son and daughter realize that dating doesn't equal commitment. We need to seriously change the mindset of society. Otherwise people are going to become more and more unhappy when it comes to relationships purely due to the lack of relationship experience!
Listen, why do people date? To determine if they are compatible and to enjoy each others company. No other reason. Sure after a period of time dating may result in a serious commitment - what some would call exclusive dating or even an engagement, but that shouldn't be the focus when we go into the dating game for the first time or even if we are headed back into it.
One of the interesting things about dating is that it is a great way to help your social circle grow. Just because the two of you don't match up or you discover neither of you really have chemistry, doesn't mean that you can't be friends and, more importantly, that you can't keep your eyes open for someone that may match them (and vice versa). Additionally, as a new friends it's quite likely that eventually you will get invite to group activities where friends of friends will be available to meet and now our options suddenly start to grow expediently.
How to Attract Women Tips: Learn How to Build Attraction
Our final tip for today on how to attract women. Most men are clueless on how to actually build attraction up. Attraction doesn't just happen, it's a process. Okay. well attraction CAN just happen, but typically it's a process.
You may not believe me, but it has been proven that women honestly are not attracted to looks. Not like us men are anyway. Sure, many will say looks matter somewhat, but for most of them it's behaviors that women are attracted to.
There are MANY behaviors that can trigger attraction in a woman, but most everyone agrees that confidence is the number one behavior that triggers attraction. To put it plainly, if a woman sees a man as confident, she is likely to become seduced by just being around him - and many times she'll be the first to make a more physical move. Men just need to learn to interpret these social behaviors and learn how to go with them.
Oh, and don't even think about faking confidence! Women are experts at knowing who is truly confident and who is trying to fake it until they make it.
Another trait that women are attracted to is dominance. When I say dominance, please do NOT read this as controlling. The two behaviors are not even remotely the same. Dominance, in this case, is the idea of not putting up with BS. It's also the idea of not letting a woman control you consciously or unconsciously. I.E., stop buying women that you've just met drinks! Stop giving her gifts for no reason at all! Stop being clingy and needy! If a woman feels you are failing these tests, you will suddenly become "just a friend." As previously stated, being friends is not a bad thing, but the idea is you want women to be totally into you if at all possible, and that won't happen unless you've worked on and mastered these two behaviors.
You may not believe me, but it has been proven that women honestly are not attracted to looks. Not like us men are anyway. Sure, many will say looks matter somewhat, but for most of them it's behaviors that women are attracted to.
There are MANY behaviors that can trigger attraction in a woman, but most everyone agrees that confidence is the number one behavior that triggers attraction. To put it plainly, if a woman sees a man as confident, she is likely to become seduced by just being around him - and many times she'll be the first to make a more physical move. Men just need to learn to interpret these social behaviors and learn how to go with them.
Oh, and don't even think about faking confidence! Women are experts at knowing who is truly confident and who is trying to fake it until they make it.
Another trait that women are attracted to is dominance. When I say dominance, please do NOT read this as controlling. The two behaviors are not even remotely the same. Dominance, in this case, is the idea of not putting up with BS. It's also the idea of not letting a woman control you consciously or unconsciously. I.E., stop buying women that you've just met drinks! Stop giving her gifts for no reason at all! Stop being clingy and needy! If a woman feels you are failing these tests, you will suddenly become "just a friend." As previously stated, being friends is not a bad thing, but the idea is you want women to be totally into you if at all possible, and that won't happen unless you've worked on and mastered these two behaviors.
Wait.... are the women-folk back already?! Crap! Okay, time to end this meeting! If you're interested in hearing more about the dating game and attraction from a Life Coach's perspective and if you've found the information in this post useful, you're going to love my other blog - The Dating Game! Now get back to your normal life and I'll see you over there.
